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“You shouldn't wait for someone to change”: the story of a woman who broke the cycle of domestic violence

“You shouldn't wait for someone to change”: the story of a woman who broke the cycle of domestic violence

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“You shouldn't wait for someone to change”: the story of a woman who broke the cycle of domestic violence

calendar_today 30 April 2025

Story of survivor of domestic violence
Olha found the strength to break free from the cycle of domestic violence.

After the start of the full-scale invasion, Olha (name changed for safety reasons) and her husband welcomed his mother into their apartment. Later, her husband went to the front line, and Olha was left living alone with her mother-in-law. The conflicts began almost immediately.

"We argued about household chores, about how I dressed, how much I spent – even about when I came home. But at some point, it got out of control – she beat me," Olha recalls.

The situation repeated itself again and again… When it happened for the fourth time, her mother-in-law threw Olha out of the apartment with almost none of her belongings. On the advice of a neighbor, Olha contacted a psychosocial support mobile team, which quickly transported her to a crisis shelter.

"They didn’t judge me – they helped me. They gave me warmth, shelter, and they listened. It’s an incredible feeling when you realize there’s a place you can go," says Olha.

Soon after, her sister — who was evacuating from a frontline city — found a job, and they rented an apartment together. Olha moved out and away from her mother-in-law. At first, she was afraid to tell her husband what had happened — she feared it would break him. But eventually, she opened up. Now, she’s convinced: staying silent is dangerous.

"You need to leave when things get bad—because you might not make it out of that apartment. Someone might miscalculate their strength, and there won't just be nowhere to go — there might be no one left. And that’s terrifying. You shouldn’t wait for someone to change just because they promised it won’t happen again. No — it will. And it will happen again and again. So don't wait," Olha shares.

Since the beginning of Russia’s full-scale invasion, reports of partner abuse, domestic violence, sexual violence, and other forms of gender-based violence in Ukraine have increased by more than a third. It is estimated that 2.4 million people in Ukraine—mostly women and girls—need access to services for the prevention of and response to gender-based violence.

 

“You shouldn't wait for someone to change”: woman broke the cycle of domestic violence