Kateryna, a 39-year-old resident of the Khmelnytskyi region, knows first-hand what it's like to be left alone with a terrible problem. She has an intellectual disability. After getting married, the woman moved into her husband's house, where he lived with his father because of a mental disorder. However, instead of household support, Kateryna faced the horror of systematic abuse and humiliation from her father-in-law, which lasted for 12 years.
According to Alla, a specialist at the local daycare center for social and psychological support who worked with the survivor, the violence began immediately after she moved into the house of her father-in-law, who had previously been imprisoned for theft. At that time, the phenomenon of domestic violence in Ukraine was not sufficiently taken into account by both state authorities and society, which largely silenced the problem.
"He came to her at night, sexually molested her, had intercourse with her against her will," Alla says. "Not only was Kateryna afraid of him, but so was her husband – his son. He saw what was happening, but fled the house at those moments, telling her to solve her problems alone."
Kateryna had no support from her parents or her nearest and dearest, to whom she had fled after experiencing another rape. According to the specialist, because of Kateryna's mental state, they thought she was fantasizing. Later, however, they themselves began to notice unhealthy patterns of harassment and unwelcome touching on his part, but limited themselves to making comments. Kateryna saw no way out of this hell without the support of her family. From time to time she ran away from home, even sleeping in the attic during her pregnancy. According to Alla, the birth of the granddaughter had no impact on her father-in-law.
"In addition to forcing his daughter-in-law to have sex with him, he also used her as a maid. She washed his feet, dressed him up, cleaned the house, and suffered from shouting, accusations, shoving, and even threats with a knife. All this in the presence of the child," the specialist says. In addition, the father-in-law controlled all the family's finances, keeping the couple's pension and social security bank cards in his possession and giving money only for the child's needs. According to Alla, the woman was afraid to go to the police. Moreover, her father-in-law himself repeatedly called the police when his daughter-in-law resisted, slandering her for 'unworthy behavior'.
Kateryna's opportunity of escape came by chance – during another episode of sexual abuse by her father-in-law, her daughter's friend came into the house. When the frightened girl told her parents what she had witnessed and the situation became public, Kateryna's family finally realized the horror she was living in. Following the adoption of the law "On Preventing and Combating Domestic Violence" in 2017 and active advocacy of the unacceptability of this phenomenon, public awareness of the problem has increased significantly, as has the effectiveness of specialized support services.
"This girl's mother and Kateryna's godmother brought her to our center. She was as scared as a chased puppy,” Alla says.
“When they told us what had happened, we filed a police report that she was the survivor of all kinds of violence. But due to a lack of evidence, the sexual violence was not included in the case, so we could not fully prosecute him.” As a result – the perpetrator only had an administrative penalty for domestic violence.
Getting Kateryna and her daughter out of the perpetrator's house was a separate "adventure" for the specialists. According to Alla, it was like a special kidnapping operation: "After the publicity, her father-in-law was guarding Kateryna. When we arrived with a mobile team of social and psychological assistance, he was very aggressive.” "Some specialists had to divert his attention, while others quickly gathered the survivor's belongings and quietly took her out with her daughter," Alla says.
The woman and her daughter were taken to a crisis room opened as part of the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) in Ukraine project called 'Cities and Communities Free from Domestic Violence'. There, Kateryna received social, psychological, humanitarian, and legal support, including filing a restraining order against her abuser. The expert recalls that the man searched for Kateryna and her daughter in the neighborhood and even came to Alla with threats.
This experience had a particular impact on Kateryna's daughter, who, according to the specialist, was "constantly crying, shaking, waking up at night with nightmares, screaming". At the end of their stay in the crisis room, the family was referred to the Regional Centre for Social and Psychological Assistance, which organized a medical examination for the survivor and an educational process for the child. At the same time, specialists worked on the issue of providing Kateryna with financial support from UNFPA to improve her living conditions. In the end, given her circumstances, the money was used to buy her own property.
"We are preparing the documents to buy a house in another village. In the meantime, Kateryna and her daughter are staying with her aunt," Alla says. "In November, she took part in a group training for women. During this time she has changed a lot – she has become calmer and more reasonable. She wants to get a job to earn some extra money, and we will help her with that too."
After the intervention of specialists and comprehensive assistance, the atmosphere in the family has finally improved. According to Kateryna, the main sign of this is that "the child has finally stopped crying".
“We are in constant contact and still organizing support for her because, due to the woman's mental health, she and her daughter must get outside help," the specialist says.
The work of the crisis room and the mobile team of social and psychological support is made possible by the ‘Cities and Communities Free from Domestic Violence’ project. The project is being implemented in cooperation with the Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine with the support of the governments of Canada and the United Kingdom as part of the UNFPA programme on combating and preventing gender-based violence.
